At the beginning of lockdown, a group of us wedding planners got together (zoom vibes) to talk about what we could expect, discuss what the new normal would be like, lean on each other and to make sure that we knew that we were not alone. Many of us are solopreneurs. I really appreciated this act of love. I know that my role is to serve and often I am the one that is of service to others. I take on this role so easily. This means it can be a little unnerving to have someone really ask after your wellbeing and wait for a response that is not on the surface. It was through this act that I began to appreciate the phrase community over competition. To have this community of girls and guys, where we checked in on each other was awesome. It became important to me to really listen and hear others, after I asked, “how are you” and the love was reciprocated so beautifully
You see without being pessimistic or over thinking the current situation we find ourselves in during this pandemic. I have had to carefully review the role I perform as a wedding planner. I believe that there are responsibilities that become blurred in our profession. When you get yourself in a sticky position, you start to resent even the smallest acts. This in turn takes away some of the joy of the planning process. For me especially, it was that feeling when I looked at my phone and I saw the name. It reminded me of my days in corporate when I had a horrible boss. To a degree this is my own fault, for example even though I have a welcome message that will specify the communication channels, I will from time to time, respond to a WhatsApp message at 20h00 on a Sunday evening. Pretty soon this becomes a norm, and then an expectation. This is where community has been spectacular! It was great to hear that the other planners, have boundaries, stick to them and that their clients respect them. You see, you do not have to overcompensate to feel like you are earning your right to be at the table. In fact, I believe that your relationship will be a lot better when all parties understand the deliverables and timelines.
I also started asking myself when I got to a stage where I felt that I needed to earn my keep? How did my self-esteem get to this level? The only thing I can think of is that I somehow allowed myself to feel that I was not worthy. Dangerous territory right. How did this come about anyway? Without a doubt, it is social media. The obvious signs for me where with the Sunday morning checking to see what the competition has done. Comparing my work (good or bad) to other people’s work. Having couples decline my services and going with another planner, the rejection slowly starts to chip away at you. So, when we started sharing these stories and feelings of doubt, I realised that I was not on my own. We allowed ourselves to be vulnerable and this gave way to such a deep connection that healed so much of the inadequacies that I was feeling. I am so grateful for the friendships that have formed over this period. Lockdown has given us all a chance to reflect, assess and press the reset button. We are worthy. I hope that you get to experience the magic we bring to your celebration one day. I had a bride that said she honestly believes that this is a calling for me. Yes, it is! I serve whole heartedly, and I am grateful for those that recognize the work that goes into ensuring that your wedding day is EPIC.